There’s still so many grudges I’m holding that shouldn’t even matter anymore. I don’t know why I do this to myself. I say I forgive them but I know I really don’t. I still get angry today about things that happened years ago. I just can’t seem to ever let anything go.
This is the one thing about myself I really want to change. I’m not an unhappy person. I don’t feel this is a threat to my overall wellness or anything, but it has poisoned a lot of relationships in my friends and family. I just wish I wasn’t so damn stubborn when it comes to forgiving. It might be a pride thing. Or I’m just a brat.
I don’t believe you should ever have to change yourself for someone. Change your ways to better yourself because it’s what you want. Not because it’s what someone else wants. Because once that person is out of the picture, you’ll go right back to your old ways. And it was never real. And if someone doesn’t accept you for who you are, then you two aren’t meant for each other in the first place.
If you’ve never been to Sedona, you need to. The rocks are red. I mean, RED. The town is surrounded by canyons, and there’s tons of cool hiking trails. The view’s are incredible!
We also took a trip to the Grand Canyon, which is about an hour north of Flagstaff. It rained the entire time we were there, which was slightly unfortunate since I was wearing white. But it’s freaking incredible to see. You feel so damn small looking at this massive canyon carved into the earth stretching miles and miles away.
On our way back home we stopped in Creek Side where we saw ancient Montezuma tribe monuments. The Montezuma Well is actually kind of a freaky deal. It’s this massive hole in the earth filled with an inexhaustible water supply. A few miles from the well is the “Montezuma Castle” which isn’t actually a castle at all. It was a housing area for the richer tribe members. Pretty cool. Can’t imagine living in something like that, but I guess in their time it was all they knew.
I would love to write more but I’m dehydrated as fuck and this is good enough for now. I might post some art later. I’m trying to finish some of my million unfinished pieces saved onto my hard drive.
SO I drove up Friday Morning and met up with Haley’s family in downtown San Diego. We hung around there and then spent the night in Solana Beach. Saturday morning Haley and I caught the Amtrack that took us to Los Angeles. The train ride went smoothly. The tracks ran right along-side the ocean for nearly the entire 2 1/2 hour trip.
We arrived in the LA station where Haley’s mom’s ex boyfriend picked us up and took us to China Town to grab something for dinner. Afterward, he gave us a tour of downtown LA. If you’ve never been before, the city is HUGE. Definitely makes a small human feel smaller.
We arrived at the Luckman Arts Theater later in the evening. Everyone was dressed up so cute for the Cocorosie concert! Girls had flowers in their hair and their bodies painted. It was a very artsy atmosphere.
We spent the night at Matt Melvin’s house: artist of the Cyanide and Happiness comics. Him and his girlfriend Austin (who is also a digital artist) had a cute little apartment near the Hollywood area. I did steal a bit of their Thai food in their fridge. I wonder if they ever noticed.
Sunday morning we boarded the Amtrack back to San Diego bright and early. I got in contact with my cousin, Isabella, and we agreed to meet up when I arrived. We ate dinner at Philipi’s, a little pizza grotto in downtown San Diego, and also my favorite Italian restaurant in the entire WORLD. I ended up staying another night at her place since I wasn’t scheduled to work Monday. And, of course, I was in no hurry to go home. California is too beautiful!
Monday morning, Isabella, her mom, grandpa, and I ate breakfast at a very artistic restaurant called The Mission. They made all of their food look so cute! After we were done, Isabella and I drove to Ocean Beach where we walked down this extremely long boardwalk, messed around with the creatures in the tide pools, and then browsed through the little beach shops. Pretty soon it was time for her to go to work (she also works at a Mimi’s Cafe) and I headed back home to good ol’ AZ.